Stories of our youth

I was exchanging e-mail with a friend, and he thought the following story was worth posting. It might help to explain that in a previous e-mail, I had made reference to my teacher's bulbous, red nose. Anyway, here is the message in its entirety:

Dammit... See, my memory is fallible. I was thinking of Mr. Dietrich, not Mr. Froelich. Damn Germanic names, how can you tell them apart? ;-)

You probably never had Dietrich. Here's a funny story... One day, I go to Mr. Dietrich's chemistry class. Mr. Dietrich doesn't show up. At first, we figure he's a little late. But no one shows up, not even a substitute teacher. Ten minutes go by. Now we're all thinking something is amiss.

Should we send out a small away team? Likely, they'd encounter one of the 50-ish hall monitor ladies, who would then track down a Vice Principal, who would then send someone to the classroom to look after us. No one volunteered to do this, as it would have invited the scorn of his peers.

Should we all leave the classroom en masse? Like a herd of antelope, some individuals might get caught, but the others would escape to freedom! Well, at least to the parking lot.

We didn't even want to talk too loudly, for fear that one of the 50-ish hall monitor ladies would hear and come to investigate. So for 45 minutes, we all sat quietly at our desks, occasionally offering some theory as to the fate of our teacher. With 5 minutes to go in the hour, Mr. Dietrich shows up, red in his whole face, not just his nose. It was like one of those recurring nightmares... He was in the teachers' lounge and totally forgot he had a class to teach, when suddenly it dawned on him... He asked us why no one had done anything to retrieve him, but of course, we had only done what we had been trained to do -- which was to sit quietly in the classroom, at our desks, from the time the bell rings until the end of the hour.

--Mark

Three years in Mess-o-potamia

Last week I walked past this truck parked on the other side of the street:



The truck was part of anti-war demonstrations marking the third anniversary of the invasion of Iraq. On March 18, approximately 7,000 protesters gathered in downtown Chicago calling for a withdrawal of U.S. troops from Iraq.

On the front of the truck it reads: "Bush lied, 1000s 100,000s died." A single 55-gallon drum labeled "oil" sits in the trailer. The website it advertises is worldcantwait.orgnet. (They have also have a Chicago chapter with their own website.) I don't know much about the organization, and I really doubt that President Bush will look at this and say, "Hmm... Maybe they're right. I should resign." Ah, but I can dream...

In my most recent entries on Iraq, I stressed the importance of their following the "roadmap to democracy" that went into effect upon the "transfer of sovereignty." (I wish I didn't have to put everything in quotes.) It was, in my opinion, still unlikely to bring stability, but it might have been the best hope to give the fledgling government legitimacy and to make it broadly representative of the Iraqi population. It didn't work.

In elections, the Shiite parties secured such a large plurality in the government that the Sunnis were effectively disenfranchised from the new political order. So we end up with an Iraqi government that will be dominated by Shiites (including some radical Shiite clerics), will be allied with its neighbor Iran, and will oppress the Sunni minority. This has resulted in violence between the Sunnis and Shiites that is starting to look an awful lot like civil war -- superimposed on the insurgency against U.S. occupation. A spectacular recent event in the conflict was the February bombing of the Al Askari Mosque, but the ethnic violence is hardly new. There have been reports that death squads have been at work around Baghdad for months, murdering thousands.

The Bush Administration has been aggressively denying that there is a civil war in Iraq, and they have been criticizing the media as being overly negative. As JCS Chairman General Peter Pace said a few weeks ago on Meet the Press, "[Things in Iraq are] going well. I wouldn't put a great big smiley face on it, but I would say they're going very, very well..." Well, then. I guess the opening of a new school really does make up for the 50 or 60 dying every day (the daily toll claimed by Iyad Allawi).

Whatever goodwill the U.S. gained from the Iraqi people by removing a brutal despot, we are losing as a result of our continued occupation and of our failure to bring order. According to a recent BBC poll, Iraqis are now evenly split on whether U.S. forces should stay or pull out. In the past, we've been pretty good at leaving resentment in our wake when we've intervened in oil-rich, Muslim countries, and I take little joy in seeing this pattern continue.

Primary results

Quickly, here are some early results from the primary election. Numbers came in slowly last night because of the new optical scan voting technology, and they're still not all in.

The Broadway zoning referendum: The question appeared on the ballot in four precincts of the 48th Ward. In each precinct, between 86-90% of voters said YES to B1-2 zoning on Broadway. In total, the votes were 804 (87.6%) in favor to 114 (12.4%) against.

Rickover: With 91% of Ward 48 precincts reporting, 69% of voters say YES, they'd like a community process to reconsider the creation of Rickover Military Academy at Senn High School.

As for the candidate I supported for Cook County Board President, things did not go so well, but it was to be expected. Claypool had a 15,000 vote lead when I went to bed last night, but Stroger strongholds had yet to be counted. Now with nearly 90% of precincts in, Stroger has a 21,000 vote lead, and it looks like he'll end up winning. Regardless, it won't be John Stroger who will preside over the board at the start of the next term; instead, the party bosses will have to hand pick a replacement for the ailing Stroger.

The sofa epic

Today I destroyed my sofa. Actually, my cat destroyed my sofa. I just finished the job for her, with a little help from Herbie, my downstairs neighbor. First, I decided to take one last picture of it. As I set up the composition, Jazzy came walking into the scene:



See the armrest? That's tinfoil. It discourages Jazzy from scratching (a little) and helps hold in the stuffing. Jazzy jumped up on it one last time:



She'll miss it:



Herbie and I started by removing the upholstery. This was held on by staples. Lots of them. So many in fact, I'm surprised that in all the years I sat on that sofa, I was never stuck by one. I was also surprised to find some of the original upholstery underneath the top layer of fabric. Check it out... back in the '70s, this was one happenin' couch:



Herbie and I think that the sofa was intended to last forever, but with much effort, we managed to hack the thing to pieces. Here is the sofa fully deconstructed and at a lower gravitational potential:



The way the sofa was put together, small items could fall through the cracks between the seat, the seat back, and the armrests, where they would end up floating around in the interior of the sofa, never to escape. The dismantling of the sofa liberated decades of crap. Here is an inventory of items found inside the sofa: $1.47 in change, 3 cushion hooks, 2 pencils (one from my high school, never sharpened), one Bugs Bunny patch, one desiccated remains of a pear (consumed), popcorn, pumpkin seeds, jelly beans, one tube of Blistex lip balm, one Old Maid playing card, one Newsweek subscription card, two paper clips, one rubber band, one pen, one brochure for a weight loss pill (?!), one scrap of paper with the name Charlie McCarthy on it, one badly deteriorated fragment of celluloid film featuring Peanuts characters (see picture below), one Jolly Rancher wrapper, one sucker stick, one Hershey's Kisses wrapper, and one green LED (through-hole variety).

More on Cook County primary

In a recent posting, I expressed my preference for Forrest Claypool over the incumbent John Stroger for Cook County Board President. Shortly afterward, Stroger suffered a stroke and is still hospitalized. It is likely he will remain in the hospital until after Tuesday's election.

This, of course, is a terrible misfortune for Stroger and for those close to him, and I hope that he is soon restored to health. However, I stand by what I said before, awkward as it may be. I can't improve on what columnist Eric Zorn wrote in his article for yesterday's Chicago Tribune:

The contest between Stroger and ... Claypool ... is still a referendum on the way the county is being run. It's still a battle between the cozy, business-as-usual network of hacks and cronies who have been in for the last dozen years and the insistent progressives who've been challenging and even thwarting them at turns.

...

As voters pray for [Stroger's] fast and full recovery, they should also realize that the question facing them has not changed: What direction should county government go?

The same direction that Stroger and his allies have been taking it? The direction that has been repudiated by the editorial boards of every major publication in the region with the exception of the Chicago Defender?

Or the direction that Claypool, Mike Quigley and their reform bloc on the board have been trying to take it? The direction toward greater efficiency and tough-minded stewardship...

The latest Tribune poll showed Claypool trailing Stroger by about 10 percentage points. This makes Claypool a long shot to win the primary, but I hold out hope for an upset.

Crocus

I was a little worried when things started coming up at the end of a mild January, but the crocuses survived. I fully expect them to be eaten by the squirrels in the next couple of days, so before that happens, I ran outside to take this picture of them:

Ella

'O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.

My niece was born this morning. Nine pounds, three ounces, and healthy. Of course, all babies are cute, but this one... not so cute. No, seriously -- she is the most adorable baby I've ever seen, and I dare you to disagree. See for yourself:



Janet and Jerry (above) are my sister's machetonim. Now they're also Ella's grandparents! Here is a picture of my brother-in-law David, holding his newborn daughter:

Colbert weighs in on Long War

It looks like I'm not the only one who's talking about the government's latest attempt to re-brand the Global War on Terror. Stephen Colbert of Comedy Central's The Colbert Report had a segment about it on last night's show. The clip is up on the Crooks and Liars website.

Endorsements

For Illinois residents, it's just two weeks until primary elections (on March 21). Early voting has already started for those who can't wait that long. There are 21 early voting sites in Chicago. You can find the location nearest you at the Chicago Board of Election Commissioners' website.

As for my endorsements, I know they're not worth much. Hardly anyone will read them, and no candidate will tout the fact that they were endorsed by some obscure blogger. I humbly present them regardless...

Proposition 48: Last year I wrote several entries about how part of Senn High School was to be converted into Rickover Military Academy. (Previously, I had expressed doubt as to the status of Save Senn's website, but it is still up and running.) The school year is well underway, and yes, there is a military academy operating there today, albeit a very small one. Enrollment at Rickover is roughly 100, versus more than 1500 for Senn.

Despite the fact that Rickover has already opened, there is still opposition. Over 3000 48th Ward residents have signed a petition calling for a community process on this issue. And members of the LSC and the Alderman's Senn Tomorrow committee have not forgotten how their own voices were ignored. In the Chicago primaries there will be a referendum -- Proposition 48 -- again calling for a community process. If you are registered in Chicago and find this on your ballot, vote YES.

Broadway Ballot Initiative: On Sunday I met the man who was responsible for getting this on the ballot. I don't know what number this proposition is, and it is only on the ballot in a few precincts in the 48th Ward. The proposal is to downzone Broadway to B1-2. The Alderman already has spoken in favor of downzoning, but she has left it open to the community to try to convince her otherwise. If this proposition passes, it will reinforce what Alderman Smith is already inclined to do. I've written previously in support of B1-2; if you find this on your ballot, vote YES.

Cook County Board President: I'm no fan of machine politics. I think government has a role to play in promoting the general welfare of the citizenry, and I'd rather my tax dollars not go to support a political machine instead. This is particularly important in the case of a governmental unit that runs a large hospital where mismanagement can have serious consequences. Last year, I heard Commissioner Mike Quigley speak at a block club meeting. At the time, he was hinting at a run for Board President on a reform platform, and I thought he'd make a good candidate. As it happens, he ended up withdrawing and throwing his support to another reform candidate -- Forrest Claypool. The establishment will disagree with me, but I endorse Claypool over the incumbent John Stroger.

A national disgrace

Not my words, although I think it is an apt description. The words "A national disgrace" were printed atop the commentary page in Wednesday's Chicago Tribune, above two opinion articles. One was "Scandalous state of affairs at Gitmo," by Thomas P. Sullivan, and the other was "What to do when the emperor has no clothes," by Garrison Keillor.

First, the Keillor. As host of the popular NPR radio show A Prairie Home Companion, Keillor is known to have somewhat left-of-center politics, but he's hardly a biting political commentator in the mold of, say, Jon Stewart. When Keillor criticizes, it's with a Minnesotan politeness, the edges rounded off for your comfort. But in his column this week, he does not equivocate. For brevity's sake, I excised most of the life and color from these excerpts, but here is the meat of his column:

From within the Pentagon bureaucracy, [Navy lawyer Albert Mora] did battle against ... Rumsfeld and John Yoo... They seemed to be arguing that President Bush has the right to order prisoners to be tortured.

Is the law a law or is it a piece of toast?

The U.S. Constitution provides a simple, ultimate way to hold [President Bush] to account for war crimes and the failure to attend to the country's defense. Impeach him and let the Senate hear the evidence.

Authoring the other piece is Thomas Sullivan, an attorney who is representing a Guantanamo detainee. The article describes the denial of due process to which I referred in the entry I posted here on Wednesday (the same day Sullivan's article was published). Sullivan writes from a unique perspective, having actually been to Gitmo to interview his client. He writes:

Some [detainees] may have violated international laws, some may be terrorists. But others may not. What we do know is that these people have not been charged, let alone tried... They just languish in Gitmo.

The writ of habeas corpus is enshrined in our Constitution... It is the traditional method used to require prosecutors to explain to a judge the basis for imprisoning those suspected of committing crimes. In an astounding surrender to executive power, Congress recently passed a bill purporting to repeal the prosoners' right to file habeas petitions... Translation: continued indefinite incarceration.

According to an article in today's Tribune, some of the detainees have, in fact, been charged, but the number is very few -- only 10 of the roughly 490 detainees currently at Gitmo. Yesterday, the Pentagon released thousands of pages of Gitmo documents as a result of a FOIA (Freedom of Information Act) lawsuit the Associated Press recently won against the Bush Administration. These documents should finally shed some light on what our government has been doing there, in secret, for the last four years.

[Mark M: My internet connection was down Saturday evening, so I wasn't able to upload this to the server until Sunday morning (March 5).]

Blotchy man threatens radio audience

In December, I wrote about Bill O'Reilly's imaginary "War on Christmas," which seems to me just another thing to whip up outrage among middle-aged, angry white men and distract them from the problems that are actually deserving of their outrage. Of course, to those of us who don't buy into O'Reilly's on-air pant-hoot calls, all this makes him look rather paranoid.

This week, something interesting happened on his radio show that helps to reinforce my opinion of the man. Here is a transcript of him threatening a caller:

Bill O'Reilly: Orlando Florida -- Mike, go.

Mike: Hey, Bill. I appreciate you taking my call. Uh, I like to listen to you during the day. I think Olbermann--

O'Reilly: There you go, Mike. He's a gone guy. You know, we have his... we have your phone numbers, by the way. So if you're listening, Mike, we have your phone number, and we're going to turn it over to Fox security, and you'll be getting a little visit.

Lis Wiehl(?) Edith Hill: Maybe Mike is from the mother ship. [Mark M: WTF???]

O'Reilly: No, maybe Mike is gonna get in big trouble. Because we're not gonna play around. When you call us, ladies and gentlemen, just so you know, we do have your phone number. And, if you say anything untoward, obscene, or anything like that, Fox security then will contact your local authorities, and you will be held accountable. Fair?

... And unbalanced, as usual. I hate giving the guy free publicity, but I think the above transcript does a good job of exposing him as the bully that he is. I imagine a number of listeners must have been scratching their heads, asking, "What did 'Mike' do?" It seems he said the magic word: Olbermann.

[06 March 2006 17:32:00] Correction: According to mediamatters.org, O'Reilly's radio sidekick on Thursday was E.D. Hill.

Crashing the Gate

There's this guy I know who runs a little website you might have heard of. He and his friend Jerome just co-authored a book titled Crashing the Gate. I pre-ordered a copy to help fund their book tour, and it arrived in the mail this week.

I couldn't wait to crack it open and have already read the first chapter. So far, so good. But with all the other books I'm trying to get through, including American Pharaoh and Camus' The Stranger, I might have to put Markos' book on the back burner for a while.

Name that policy

The Global War on Terror, otherwise known as GWOT. I've never liked the term; the idea of an actual war against a tactic seems nonsensical to me. I also thought it was ridiculous when they tried to rename it the "Global Struggle Against Violent Extremism (GSAVE)," although the omission of the word "war" was telling -- is it, or is it not, an actual war? Anyway, GSAVE didn't stick.

Last month I started hearing murmurs in the media that the Pentagon is testing a new name: "The Long War." Oh, that is SO much better. The Hundred-Years War is also good, but I think it's been used before, and it has the disadvantage of being closed-ended. A hundred years, and it's over. But "The Long War"... now, that could last forever.

But seriously... One of my criticisms has been that the GWOT has been set up to be a perpetual war. And if we are always on a war footing, and if this is used to rationalize the curtailments of our civil liberties, then when do we get these liberties back? Specifically, I'm referring to the abridging of Amendments IV (warrantless wiretaps), VI (denial of due process for terrorism suspects), and VIII (torture), as well as violations of treaties and international conventions on human rights. We get these liberties back when the so-called war is over. Which, in a Long War, is never.